by Dr. Professor Leroy Desfrites
Bonjour mes amis!
I am back from a long and exhausting lecture tour of South America. It should not have been a long tour, as I was only booked to speak once – a talk on “Chaos Theory And Its Relevance vis-a-vis the Effects of Argentinian Corned Beef on Climate Change”, at the People’s Free University of Fray Bentos. Unfortunately I made an rather unwise and possibly politically incorrect proposition to a mature but expensively dressed woman, who turned out to be Madame President Kirchner. My suggestion of a quiet weekend, à deux, in my Falkland Islands holiday home, resulted in a stay of several weeks under house arrest at a remote Holiday Camp formerly owned by the Secret Police.
On my happy return to La Belle France I found a massive bag of unanswered mail, among which was the following question from one of my most dedicated fans, who wishes to remain anonymous – let us call him Jean Deaux.
Jean asks: “Dear Dr. Lesfrites, When will house prices in France recover?”
But my dear Jean, house prices do not need to recover. They have never fallen. I have decided, for instance, to ask a higher price now, for my charming apartment in the picturesquely named fashionable Paris quartier of Clichy-Sous-Bois, than I was asking 2 years ago. Clearly the price has increased!
In fact, Jean, I am very happy to say that this substantial increase in the price of my house has made me feel much richer, as a result of which I am planning to call on my Bank Manager for a large loan, and to invest the money, through my brokers PMU, on a promising horse that I have been told about. I may even enjoy the extravagance of a coffee and a little Calvados as I watch the performance of my equine investment on the TV.
All I need now is a footballer, football club owner, or other person of huge wealth and great naivety to hand over several million euros for my slum luxury apartment!
I hope this answers your question, Jean, and helps you to understand how we of superior intellect are always the creators of wealth, while everyone else is condemned to a life of miserable poverty. Enjoy!